**Happiness Quotient**

"What is it in the world that can make one independent of emotions and be happy in relationships?? "

Quite a Question that has left many Titans dumbstruck and brought on heels. Often in relationships, one tends to go overboard and depend too much emotionally on partners. Above everything else, I feel happines purely lies in one's own hands of tuning their mind than to search for it in a particular person or attach it to something that's dear. Is it that simple a choice?? A little insight ...

Often it so happens that we never remain happy with what we have in life. God has given us this amazing Life which in its own way is a wonderful thing . You are not born handicapped like thousands, You are sane (atleast most of the times:) with few grey cells on your head , You are brought up with great values and you are leading a comfortable life meeting your ends quite well. But humans..!!! I tell you.....and thier discontent!!!

They always look around for those petty things that are imperfect and tend to brood over it. I wonder if its the devilish subconscious mind at work that derives a pshychotic pleasure in learning and feeling that there are imperfections around. Its sure that this subconscious mind would damn get tuned with -vity over a period of time. And by doing so, we by CHOICE bring in gloom into our lives ourselves.
Thats exactly where, one's sane mind has to take control on this insane component and chuck out all that's -ve. Rationalise what 's best in keeping up the relationship than accumulating -tivity. I know its not all that easy as just saying it:)

Precisely when it comes to dear ones, rather than looking at the good things and being +ve, we tend to micro manage emotions by thinking overboard on -ves. So many many of us tend to do the same thing over and over again. I wouldnt mind confessing myself that after having a post mortem of my overboard emotions at times millions of times, I tend to think and behave the same nasty way. Huhhh!! Once this process becomes a habit, you are gone for good since habits die hard, my dear!!

We forget that it can be dealt altogether in a different way. By understanding the imperfections and accepting the way things are makes life a lot more simpler and easy. This acceptance is what probably one calls getting matured from being an amatuer. OR is it that when you get matured over age, you start accepting?? Uff....Tough equations of life which I never try to solve!!:))) And if you try to add the planetary differences ( I meant the gender biases and thier shortcomings), it would be the complex equation than laplace on your plate :)

But on second thoughts now, is it really worth counselling and consoling ourselves to accept the shortcoming of the other by rationalising and reasoning? I mean, C'mon , we have one life and cant we really do something to actually feel happy by a little change than consoling happiness. Afterall, not all days u can be rational and sensible and keep accepting.

So that's where the other side of the story starts. Emotionally detaching ourselves to one's imperfections and tuning away ourselves to even nasty/bad things around also is not the only route to happiness. It would be, at the end of day, cheating ourselves and camouflage one's own self which may again in long run have impact on the relationship.

None can deny the fact that there are umpteen instances where few ( inafct many:) imperfections (which are primarily the cause for contradictions) can be fine tuned. I cant understand why each shows an inertia to change. This is a MUST parallel track that has to run simultaneously to what I said above. Some amount of effort has to go in by both partners in working out on these imperfections cos we want to be really happy at the end of the day rather than consoling ourselves that we are happy, right?? Its not about "making" happiness but feeling that "feeling of happiness" from within. Complicated haan?!?!

A heavy topic for today after having seen so many dearones around in pain at times. Thought of finding an answer by a little data mining in my warehoused head:) Great learning for you and me being a part of a world thats closely entangled with a web of emotions and relationships.

So people who read thru this, Are you anywhere near????;))) Drop in your valuable comments for sure to enliven and enlighten souls around.....:)) White papers are also invited ha ha ha

~$,28/04/08, 11:00 am